4 February 2025

What not to play at a church wedding

The choice of music for a church wedding is essential, as it helps create the right atmosphere and reverence for a sacred ceremony. While many pieces are ideal for these occasions, there are also others that should not be part of the repertoire. Here's a guide to the pieces that are best avoided during a church wedding.

Naturally, we recommend that you speak with your priest before the wedding and ask for approval of the pieces you would like to hear at your wedding. Some priests are more or less restrictive, and this can influence the final repertoire. Many songs, due to their musical content and mood, are suitable for the wedding ceremony, but because of their secular lyrics, they may be rejected by the priest.

It is also important to note at which moments during the Mass the music can be played. In this regard, it's worth noting that both the entrance and the exit of the couple from the church do not take place during the liturgy itself, but before and after. This allows for the playing of songs that may not be permitted during the Mass itself.

1. Pop music

The first type of music that poses many problems is non-religious music. Music that is not of a religious nature and does not fit within the context of the liturgy. According to the more restrictive views, it should be excluded from the ceremony. These songs include, for example, love songs like "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion, "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston, or "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran - although beautiful, these are secular songs that have no religious dimension and do not fit into the rite - and pop music, rock, or jazz - even though these might be your favorite music, they do not serve a liturgical role. These songs can create an atmosphere of fun rather than prayer.

2. Film scores

Although often beautiful, film scores are often not up to the solemnity of a church wedding ceremony. Examples of pieces that are best avoided include movie themes such as "Concerning Hobbits," "Theme from Titanic," or "The Godfather Theme." While these pieces are beautiful and emotional, they have no connection to the liturgy. Pieces from musicals, such as "All I Ask of You" from The Phantom of the Opera or "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Misérables, are also not suitable. Although passionate, they do not match the spiritual character of the church ceremony.

3. Too rhythmic and danceable songs

Some songs, even though they may be popular at civil weddings or receptions, are not appropriate for a church wedding ceremony, which should take place in an atmosphere of solemnity and prayer. Such songs include dance music like techno, pop, or dance tracks. Even rock 'n' roll is not appropriate during the Mass, but what about when the couple exits the church?

4. Songs with inappropriate religious content

Although it may seem obvious, it is worth noting that some songs with religious content can be inappropriate. Songs with misleading religious content should be avoided, such as those that refer to other religions or present a distorted representation of Christianity. Music that is too controversial - songs that may create confusion, such as those related to religious or philosophical doubts.

5. Too loud and dramatic pieces

Some musical pieces can be too dramatic or emotionally intense. One should avoid music that is too complex or turbulent, such as some opera or symphonic pieces that are too chaotic or dynamic for an occasion like this. These pieces are typically intended for concerts rather than church ceremonies. A confusing example of such music could be the Requiem by G. Verdi or J. Brahms. Although the Requiem is a funeral mass, these two examples were created as concert requiems, meant to be performed in concert halls, not during church ceremonies.

The choice of music for a church wedding should take into account both the nature of the ceremony and the atmosphere of sacredness and solemnity. Avoid secular, danceable, overly rhythmic, or commercial pieces, as well as those with content that is inappropriate for the sacred context. A good preparation with the musicians will help create an appropriate musical setting that enriches this special day while maintaining respect for the rite. After all, we sometimes play film music at church weddings, which suits the character of the Mass, and even though it was created for a different purpose, the priests were not concerned at all and only paid attention to the atmosphere the music created. But don't give up on your ideas too quickly, even if they are not obvious!